How many of you have “crazy” dreams and goals that you wanted to pursue then you ended up giving up on them after telling a friend or a family member about them? How many projects and hobbies you wanted to start doing then you end up saying” oh well, they are not important” just because you tell yourself there are other”more important things you have to do”?
A lot of times, we wait for other people to give us a permission to pursue things that we have desired to for so long! Well, guess what? It is not other people’s job to give you the green light! You must be asking “well, whose job is it”? You got it! IT IS YOUR JOB TO GIVE YOURSELF THAT PERMISSION TO LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT!
Don’t get me wrong, having the approval of your friends and family feels great; getting their support and love is important. However, what about your approval? Why is it that we somehow think that other people’s thoughts and opinions, about OUR life, matter more than ours? Your thoughts, opinions, goals and dreams matter! And it is your responsibility to make them a priority every single day.
So, how can we exactly give ourselves permission to live a life where we are free to do things that we truly desire?
Here are the valuable lessons I have learned From “Big Magic”:
- We have to learn to cultivate a sense of personal entitlement. You must be thinking ” Oh entitlement? That sounds like a bad thing!” Well, actually not. The author, Elizabeth Gilbert, explained that the word entitlement does have a negative connotation to it. The truth is, without a sense of entitlement, we will never be able to go on and live the life we want. Being entitled means that each one of us has the right to live an amazing, beautiful,creative life! Being entitled means loving yourself enough to give your dreams and goals a chance. You are not here on this planet by “accident”. Your life is important! You are allowed to have your own calling in life, even if it doesn’t make sense to other people. It makes sense to you right? Then it is worth pursuing.
- What happens when you decide to live a life that makes sense to you? The little voice in your head will start talking ” Who do you think you are?”. People might make fun of you. Your friends might call you crazy.Your family might be disappointed. What do you do in that case? Remember: You are a child of God. You are loved by the universe. You are loved by nature. You are made of the same atoms and dust that the stars are made of. You are loved by animals, birds, trees and flowers! YOU MATTER. You are divine. God and divinity reside in you. You are Gods and Goddesses. SO ACT LIKE IT.
- Perfectionism is a fancy word for”fear”. The truth is no one is perfect and nothing is perfect. Nothing will ever be perfect and that is actually a good thing. Perfection puts a limit on us. You can’t achieve anything beyond perfect because there is nothing beyond perfect.If we were perfect, how will we ever grow? So stop postponing the projects that you want to do until you become “perfect”. Perfection shouldn’t be the goal. Aim for good enough then have the courage to finish whatever you started and put it out there with complete faith that you have done your best. What if you don’t get the results you want? This is where growth happens. When we agree to take the risk of putting ourselves out there and doing what we truly desire, we sign a contract with inspiration and creativity. This “contract”means that we understand that there is a possibility of us failing. Then why do we take that risk anyways? Because the journey is fun! Because of who we become in the process of living a creative,authentic life.
- Many people associate creativity and talent with suffering. This is what Elizabeth Gilbert refers to as ” the icon of the Tormented Artist”. The notion that creativity comes with suffering and results in self-destructive behaviors. Many people that are extremely talented and creative also choose to hold on to their inner demons, whether it is depression or anxiety, alcoholism or drug addictions, thinking that the only way to a truly authentic creative life is suffering so they refuse to seek treatment and therapy. That leads to the question” Really? Are we really given creativity to suffer? Do we really have to suffer in order to live a GOOD life?” This is also a belief that has a religious aspect to it. Many people believe that in order to find God, we have to suffer, abstain and feel”guilty for our sins”. It is important to distinguish between the suffering that exists as a part of life on this earth and the suffering that we bring upon ourselves. No one can deny that suffering exists in the world ( death, diseases…etc.) Which brings us to the next point…
- Always choose love over suffering. I believe that love is the answer to all humanity’s difficult questions. Why do we exist? LOVE. Love is the ultimate goal. Love yourself. Love others. Love your work. Love nature and most importantly, always believe that you are loved back by all those things. How do I know this is true? Because it works. Go ahead, create and love yourself, work, hobbies, family, friends, partners,nature, animals…etc and see what happens.
- The things that you’re curious about will give you a hint to your passions and calling in life. It is better to be curious than passionate. Why? Because passion is hot and heavy, it comes one moment then leaves the next and you don’t know when or if it will come back again. Curiosity, on the other hand, is a more stable, long-lasting version of passion. Pay attention to what ignites your curiosity. Is it cooking? Art? Dance? Finance? Fashion? no matter how small it is, don’t miss out on the opportunity to discover something new about yourself. The things that you’re curious about might become your career. Or it might not. One thing is guaranteed, though: It will fill your life with wonder and amazement. And why is that important? Because your soul always craves wonder. Your soul doesn’t care about rewards. Your ego does! Your soul just wants you to love, wonder and be curious.
So, have you given yourself permission yet? In case you haven’t, please allow me to give you that permission! Now go ahead and live a life full of creativity, wonder, and love! If we are willing to trust fear and suffering that much, Shouldn’t we be willing to trust love and creativity just as much?
Let’s give it a try! It is worth it.
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