I was skimming through books at the library, trying to find a book that spoke to me, when I found this book. I thought “Who are these authors? I’ve never heard of them!”. It turns out that Louise Hay has written multiple self-help books that have guided many people around the world to create a better life for themselves. On the other hand, Cheryl Richardson is a woman who has been greatly influenced by Louise Hay that she became a best-selling author herself as well!
This article is inspired by a phrase that Cheryl Richardson wrote in the introduction of the book which I would love to share with all of you.
Here is the quote in Cheryl Richardson’s words: “Think thoughts that make you feel good, make choices that make you feel good, and take actions that make you feel good”
Cheryl referred to this as the simple formula to become the creators of our own destiny and the masters of our own lives. This quote resonated with me deeply; the formula is so simple yet we often find it difficult to live in that manner. The question is why? I reflected on that question for few days, trying to find the answer.
Here is the conclusion that I came to; It is difficult for us to live simply using the formula that Cheryl referred to because we don’t love ourselves enough, if at all.
Let me explain further; a lot of us live with a belief, either unconsciously or consciously, that we are not worthy of happiness. Why not? Well because it sounds selfish!Right? We think” How can I be happy while others are clearly not”? So we sabotage our own success and happiness because we believe we are not good enough, we don’t deserve this! And clearly, this is something that we will be rewarded for in our next life because we weren’t “Selfish” We didn’t put ourselves first because putting ourselves first is “bad”. So we get to go through life thinking that we are good people because we are “selfless”.
That ,my friends, is a big trap that we set up for ourselves. The only way we can love others truly and properly is by loving ourselves fully and accepting ourselves fully. Having compassion for others starts with having compassion for ourselves. Forgiving others starts with forgiving ourselves. Being kind to others starts with being kind to ourselves. Being sensitive to others needs starts with being sensitive to our own needs.
So Start paying attention to what you say to yourself. Our inner self-talk is more powerful than we think. Next time you think unkind thoughts towards yourself, stop yourself and think ” Would I say that to my best friend”? If the answer is no, apologize to yourself! Become your own best friend.
It amazes me how being unkind to yourself and judging yourself has a saintly, religious aspect to it. Many people claim, in the name of religion, that we have to “deny” ourselves and our needs and desires in order to find God. We have to judge ourselves before God judges us. That behavior explains why many individuals who claim to be “religious” are the first ones to judge others. Does God really want that? I doubt it.
When we think unkind thoughts towards ourselves; when we don’t love ourselves properly and judge ourselves, we are saying to God ” I don’t like you and your creation, that is me”. Is this the kind of messages we want to be sending God and the universe? Come on now, we can do better.
Now it is important to recognize the difference between loving ourselves and lying to ourselves. We will make mistakes, it is inevitable. It is how we handle ourselves when we make mistakes that truly matters. Let’s go back the best friend . When your best friend messes up, how do you react? Do you say” Of course you did this! You are an idiot and stupid and you will never get anything right!” or do you say” you know what? you did make a mistake! Now you can learn from it and move on”. I think most, if not all of us, respond to our best friends with something like the second response.
So let’s be clear: self-discipline is an expression of self-love! True self-discipline requires honesty with ourselves, patience, kindness ,and self-love.
So back to the formula; When we truly love ourselves, it will become much easier to think thoughts that make us feel good, make choices that make us feel good, and take actions that make us feel good, as Cheryl put in a beautiful way.
How can we apply that formula to our lives in a practical manner? Few things came to mind:
- You are in a relationship or you have a friendship that is making you miserable? End it.
- Your job is sucking the life out of you? Take initiative and find a way to find a job that inspires you.
- You are indulging in unhealthy foods, drinking too much or lacking physical activity? Honor yourself and your health and take action to have a healthier lifestyle! You know what to do.
- Are your clothes making you feel unattractive? Buy ones that make you feel good about your body when you wear them.
It is that simple, my friends.
The path of self-love is the only path that will truly lead us to help and serve others in a way that will change their lives.
Now we are ready to make a difference in the world.
You can buy the book from Amazon by following this link:
Will you join me on the journey of self-love?