So, as you know, I usually write about books I read and share the insights that inspire me the most from these books. This post isn’t exactly about books. Okay, it’s not about books at all…This post is simply a reflection about love and relationships. I have been reflecting a lot lately based on my personal life experiences.
Love is the ability to radically accept someone, just the way they are, in the present moment. Love is being able to ‘see’ the essence of the other and appreciate that essence. Love is eternal; it is the fabric that life is made up of. Love, I repeat, is eternal, as Khalil Gibran said in his book, The Prophet, “You were born together, and together you will be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God”.
(I guess I can’t help but mention a book in my posts… the mission of the blog is being accomplished 😉 )
Love is eternal, relationships, on the other hand, take work. Relationships can only last when there is a healthy dynamic present between two people who love each other. What does a healthy dynamic look like, you may wonder? A healthy dynamic is built on radical acceptance of one’s self and of the other. Radical acceptance of yourself and your partner encourages you to share your authentic, vulnerable self with courage, knowing that your partner will have your back. A healthy dynamic is about creating that ‘safe space’ where the seeds of trust, intimacy can grow because they are watered consistently with the water of pure, open and honest communication. It is perceiving the other as an equal. it is this feeling that you are on the same team. You feel like you are partners in crime and your relationship feels like you are embarking on a journey around the world, except you are embarking on a journey to dive in deep to get to know a part of the universe: your partner. And, in the process, you get to know another part of the universe: yourself. And no, we’re not just parts of the universe; we are the universe itself as Rumi said: ” You are the Universe in ecstatic motion”.
There is no guarantee that this journey will always be smooth. In fact, it is not healthy nor realistic to expect a smooth journey. When you travel, you don’t expect to feel blissful every single day, do you? When you start a new course in school, you know that there will be days where you will feel like quitting and not going back to class. Why do we expect relationships to be any different than other journeys we embark on in life? (Shaking my head). Love requires that we take risks, there is no way around it. The wisest thing you can do is to take risks and listen to your gut and your heart: the wisdom is already in you, don’t bother looking for it elsewhere.